SUCCESS

I've been trying to keep myself busy because well, you know, Austin is gone and now I don't know what to do with myself. So anyway, today has been wayyyy great as far as productivity goes.
Here's what I've done thus far:

1. Applied for Jobs
2. Went to a job interview
3. Got my car registered
4. Ate lunch
5. Got hit (a love tap) by a car
6. Rotated the tires on my car

Now I'm going to:

1. Apply for more jobs
2. Clean my room
3. Prepare FHE activity and lesson for my group tonight
4. Eat Dinner
5. Have FHE with my cute little ward family
6. Go on a dessert date with a girl I've never met before

Even with all of this, there hasn't been a second of my day that I haven't thought of/missed my boo.

Why Can't I?

As hard as I try to be grateful, sometimes life is just mean. I know that I don't understand everything and have SO much to learn but sometimes I get tired of learning everything the hard way. I began to reminisce today and.....it hurt. It's something that I've been pushing aside because it hurt too much to keep in my thoughts but I think I just need to face the facts now and push forward.

I am so grateful for my family and the love that they share. I am so grateful for this church and for the Atonement.

I just enrolled in four institute classes that I'm so excited for, they will keep me nice and busy for the time being. One of the classes is New Testament but the class is a special needs class so I signed up to be a helper and I'm SOOOO excited for it because I seriously have gone way too long since I last helped someone else and stopped being so greedy :)

Life is Great!

I'm so grateful to have been given all that I have. I'm so grateful for the life that I've been given because my life is wonderful!

I have an amazing family that I miss so incredibly much. They are nuts but I love them. I'm so glad that I get to live with my sister....she's kind of an amazing person. I would be so lucky to turn out even a bit like her.

I have a wonderful boyfriend that takes really good care of me and brings me yummy pancakes to work :)
Also, the word boyfriend, still scares me a bit but he's so patient and loving, it's ridiculous. I don't know where he came from but I'm glad that he's in my life...I've been truly blessed.

Also, totally watching THE AVENGERS tonight with Austin, Monica, Jared, Dackota and his friends at midnight! I might die because I'm kind of a grandma and get delusional by 10 if I'm not in bed.

Death

Death is what I have felt/looked like these past few days. Thankfully, I have an amazing best friend, Austin, and an amazing sister, Mon, that take really good care of me and tend to spoil me. :) I am so blessed!

Austin has stayed with me literally all day every day since Monday (minus nights of course). He's fed me when I could hardly sit up, checked my temp. 398384975 times a day (quite literally), forced me to drink heaps of liquids, applied a near freezing rag to my forehead when my fever wouldn't break and most importantly....still likes to call me beautiful when I look like a complete and total mess! I kind of like the kid, he's definitely something else. 

Monica brought me some popsicles after she got home from work, gave me pills to take, let me snuggle in her bed this morning because she knew that I had a rough night, surprised me with my favorite candy EVER and makes sure to text me every couple of hours to make sure that I haven't died :) I kind of like her a lot! I think I'm definitely going to keep her for forever.

This weekend (if I fully recover), Mon, Austin, Anjilee, maybe Steve and I will be going to St. George to hike, swim and do other outdoorsy things. We will be staying at Austin's parents home and I'm so excited! They are absolutely wonderful people, I can tell, well, I've met his dad and he's one of the most funny people that I have ever met! Anyway, the point is........that I need to get better so that we can all have a blast together this weekend!

I love life.